


And the Waves Crashed Down

by Insanity_Studios_Ink



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: I even made art for this, M/M, Modern Era, Sokka is too, Zuko is a tease, and also a klutz, foreshadowing is so much fun to write, gotta love killing off characters, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insanity_Studios_Ink/pseuds/Insanity_Studios_Ink
Summary: “Promise me you’ll never leave me,” Sokka whispered into his boyfriend’s shoulder.Zuko let out a watery laugh, one hand rubbing comforting circles on his back.“I promise I’m going to love you until the day I die, Sokka.”
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 78





	And the Waves Crashed Down

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: Mild sexual content, major character death, depression and mildly suicidal thoughts, survivor's guilt, mental instability, and lots of angst, in no particular order.

Sokka was happy. He was driving to the beach, it was a perfect day for a swim. His hand was on the centre console of his car, his boyfriend’s fingers intertwined with his own. Boyfriend. What a wonderful word. Four years ago he’d never even considered he might end up here. Zuko had been something to have but never possess, a part of his life that was tantalizingly close and yet ever so far away. Four years, he’d pined after his roommate, who’d become his best and closest friend.

Turns out, Zuko had felt the same way. They’d danced around each other for all of undergrad, mutually in love and oblivious as hell. It had taken an intervention from Toph before they’d finally realized, and Sokka had never been more grateful for the blind demon child. Now, after two weeks of ‘officially’ dating, they were on their way to their first date as a couple.

He looked over at Zuko, watching the wind whip his hair around his face, eyes drawn to the carefree smile on his face and the happy glint in his eyes as they caught Sokka’s own. Sokka felt his own smile widening, turning back to the road. It would do no good to accidentally kill his boyfriend (boyfriend. Boyfriend!) so soon after he’d finally got him.

Lucky. That was the only word he could think to properly describe his situation right now. He’d finally got the man of his dreams, and after four years of dinners they’d shared and times they’d had together as friends and wishing for more, he was finally going on his first official date with his best friend. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest already, he was so excited. Finally, finally Zuko was his, and he was Zuko’s. Together, they could overcome anything.

They arrived at the beach, Sokka practically bouncing as he grabbed the picnic basket and laced his fingers with Zuko’s, walking barefooted in the sand hand-in-hand. God, he was never going to get tired of saying that. Zuko was his boyfriend. His boyfriend. His boyfriend. His beautiful, wonderful, funny, kind, and sweet boyfriend.

Zuko smiled at him again, a small shy thing that made Sokka’s heart melt, and he couldn’t help himself. He pulled their entwined hands to his lips, gently kissing the back of Zuko’s and laughing in delight as Zuko flushed happily. He loved being able to do this to him, loved being the one able to put that blush on Zuko’s face.

Together they laid out the blankets, Zuko unpacking up the small cooler of food while Sokka nabbed a grape from the bag in his arm. His boyfriend smacked his hand away, a mock-scolding look in his eyes.

“Where’s mine?” he whined.

Sokka smiled innocently at him, grabbing another and popping it in Zuko’s mouth, letting his hand rest on Zuko’s cheek and brushing a thumb over his lips gently. God, his lips were so beautiful, he just wanted to kiss them, feel the sensation of chapped lips on his own and the faint taste of grapes. This beautiful man laid his hand over Sokka’s, warm smile on his face.

“Come on, help me with my sunscreen,” he said, pulling Sokka’s hand off his cheek and holding it between his own. “We can’t just sit here and traumatize a bunch of kids.”

Sokka laughed. “The only kid here is me, Zuko.”

“I’m sure I can find a way to traumatize you, Sokka.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, baby.”

Zuko flushed, shoving the sunscreen in his boyfriend’s hands and flipping over on his stomach.

“Don’t miss anything, please. If I can’t lay comfortably in my bed with you because my back is burning, I will personally set you on fire.”

"I suppose I'll be hot in more ways than one," Sokka teased, squirting a healthy amount of lotion on his fingers.

"Oh shut up," Zuko muttered, rolling his eyes and fighting back a smile.

Sokka massaged the sunscreen into his boyfriend’s skin, rubbing circles around his shoulders and loving the way Zuko relaxed under his probing fingers, tension draining out of tense muscles. He knew his boyfriend was worried about a lot, Zuko was always a worrier. Sokka enjoyed these moments together, when his boyfriend was completely relaxed and calm, putty under his fingers and sighing blissfully, he enjoyed being the one to have such an effect on him.

Reluctantly, he stopped straddling his boyfriend’s butt, rolling him over and rubbing more sunscreen on his chest, ‘accidentally’ brushing his nipples the way he knew drove Zuko wild. And indeed, he could feel Zuko’s erection start to press into his ass through the swimming trunks. Sokka shifted slightly so it was pressed more firmly against him, smirking down at his boyfriend.

“I didn’t know you had a public kink, Zuko.”

Zuko growled, blushing. “I don’t. I have a _you_ kink, Sokka.”

Sokka laughed, poking Zuko’s nose and leaving a smudge of white on it. Zuko scrunched his nose in a way that was simply adorable, rubbing the sunscreen in. Sokka rolled off of him, smirking.

“Here, you’d better, ah, _finish_ yourself up. Wouldn’t want to make this _hard_ on you,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Zuko groaned, covering his eyes with his arm, even as a smile tugged the corner of his lips up. Sokka thought he looked a little dramatic. Adorable and completely kissable, but dramatic. He pulled Zuko off the ground, who poked his side as he grumbled about Sokka being so demanding. Sokka smacked Zuko’s bottom, relishing in his little yelp of surprise.

“Catch me if you can!” he yelled over his shoulder, high-tailing it for the water. Behind him, he heard Zuko’s footsteps pounding after him.

“Oh it’s on! Your ass is mine, Sokka!”

A couple hours later found them under the beating sun, sipping on lemonade and eating sandwiches with their feet hanging off the pier. Zuko was curled up under his arm, skin sticking to Sokka’s with sunscreen. There was a dusting of sand on his neck, and Sokka blew it off, sending shivers down Zuko’s spine.

“Don’t tease me like that unless you’re planning on doing a full job of it, Sokka.”

Sokka leaned over, whispering into Zuko’s ear. “Right here? On the beach, in sight of everyone?” He ran a hand gently over his boyfriend’s thigh, savouring the little whimper Zuko emitted. “Later, baby. I’m going to do it right. There will be loads of full jobs, no worries.”

Zuko rolled his eyes, turning his face up to Sokka and staring at him through long lashes. His lips curved into a smirk, eyes sparkling with mischief. Sokka knew that look. Oh, he was fucked. Zuko was about to prank him, and he was way too infatuated to do a damn thing about it. His boyfriend leaned over, lips hovering over his, fingers intertwined.

And then promptly threw himself off the pier, the weight of his body falling nearly yanking Sokka’s arm out as he went flying over the edge with a not-so-manly scream. He popped up to the surface, spluttering, to Zuko’s laughter and easy smile.

“I thought you might need to... _cool_ off,” Zuko smirked, and Sokka found he couldn’t be at all upset with him, not when Zuko was smiling like that.

Sokka ducked his head underwater, gathering a mouthful of water to spit at Zuko, who protested loudly, sending waves of water at him. Sokka laughed, sending his own back. A water war ensued, leaving them both soaking wet and breathless with laughter.

Sokka sucked in more water, and Zuko shrieked and swam as quickly as he could to safety. He clambered up the ladder to the pier and ran along the worn wood as Sokka chased after him, water dribbling from his puffed cheeks as he tried not to laugh. Warm boards under his feet, sun glinting off the water droplets on Zuko’s body, wet hair smacking against pale shoulder blades as his boyfriend ran along the pier, everything was beautiful. Perfect.

And then it wasn’t.

His foot slipped on a patch of water, twisting out from under him. His hands shot out, too slow. There was a blinding pain as his head hit a pillar, then...nothing.

Cold.

Dark.

Nothing.

_Blink._

Murky darkness, a hand reaching out.

_Blink._

A terrified face surrounded by a halo of dark hair.

_Blink._

His eyes closed.  
  
  


“-SAKE WAKE UP!”

His vision was blurred, but he could see clouds above him, feel tight arms around his stomach. Zuko’s voice was loud and jarring in his ear, panicked in a way that Sokka had never heard before. He coughed, water erupting from his mouth as he gasped for air, hacking up lake water with each exhale. He’d never appreciated the taste of air on the back of his throat as much as he did right now.

The ladder of the pier banged against his thigh, Zuko had managed to swim them both back to the dock. Sokka grabbed onto the rail, weakly pulling himself up while Zuko followed behind him, hand tight on his side. Sokka had never seen Zuko look this terrified, watching him look so panicked made Sokka scared too.

He flopped over the edge of the pier, rolling onto his back and gulping in air. Another fit of coughing brought up more foul-tasting water, Zuko immediately at his side and helping him sit up. His boyfriend rubbed comforting circles on his back, shifting to move behind him and curl his arms protectively around Sokka’s stomach, burying his face into Sokka’s neck. His face was wet from more than just the water.

“I thought I’d lost you.”

He said it so quietly that Sokka almost didn’t hear it over the wheezing of his own breathing, but there was no denying it. Even now, he could feel Zuko’s heart thumping wildly against the skin of his back, jittery and erratic.

They didn’t move for a while, and by the time Zuko’s heartbeat had finally slowed and Sokka had stopped coughing, the sun was starting to set. Finally, it was calm and tranquil like the waves lapping softly under the dock. Slowly, Zuko untangled himself from Sokka, standing up.

“We should get back to the flat, I want Katara to look you over as soon as she can. You were underwater for a long time, Sokka.”

“I know, I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to scare you so badly.”

Zuko helped him up and kissed his forehead, a soft smile on his lips. “It’s not your fault, dork. Just promise me you won’t scare me like that again.”

“I promise,” Sokka said, entwining his fingers with Zuko’s. “As long as you promise you’re not going to go dying on me either.”

Zuko smiled down at him, eyes glittering in the setting sun. Suddenly, he let out a pained gasp, fist against his chest with a grimace.

“Heartburn,” he gritted out. “You know just how to make my heart do funny things, Sokka.”

Sokka put his hand on Zuko’s chest, wishing he had magical healing powers or something. He didn’t like seeing his boyfriend in pain. Zuko grabbed his hands, cupping them in his own.

“Holy shit your hands are cold. Let’s go home, I wanna bundle you up and cuddle you until you’re not fucking freezing anymore.”

Zuko loaded Sokka up in the car, thoroughly wrapped up in beach-towels. He kept glancing at Sokka, checking to make sure he was all right, hand tight over Sokka’s as if to reassure himself that the idiot was still there. Sokka thought it was absolutely adorable how protective he was being.

Once they got to the apartment, Zuko sat him down and told him very firmly that he was not to get up, and that he was going to make them some food and expected Sokka to stay there and not move. Sokka did as he was told, and honestly, he was grateful for the protectiveness. He still felt like shit and his chest still burned and his throat still ached. It felt nice to have someone here for him, who cared as much as Zuko did.

Zuko returned with two bowls of reheated soup from dinner last night, and together they sat on the couch and ate quietly, soaking in each other’s presence. Sokka was curled into Zuko’s side, savouring the heat of his boyfriend’s bare skin, absorbing it like a cat in the sun. Zuko finished his own bowl, setting it on the coffee table to get later and wrapping a blanket around both of them, looping his arms around Sokka’s body and pulling him closer.

“I was so worried, Sokka.” he whispered, face nuzzled into Sokka’s hair.

Sokka scooted over a little more, wrapping his own arms around Zuko’s waist.

“I know baby, I’m sorry.”

“I watched you fall, I watched you go under. And on the car ride home, I...I kept thinking.”

He took a shuddering breath in, releasing it slowly, shakily.

“About what I would do. If you had...died.”

The arms around his shoulders tightened, squeezing him desperately.

“And I couldn’t think of anything. I...everything I do, it revolves around you. You’re my life now, Sokka.”

He took a shuddering breath, and Sokka could tell he was very close to crying. He thought about what it would be like, if Zuko died. How he would feel, what he would do. What could he do? There wasn’t a single aspect of his life now that didn’t include Zuko.

He was there from when he woke up, meditating with a cup of Oolong tea while the sun rose high in the sky, to when he went to bed, his boyfriend snuggled up behind – or sometimes in front of – him. He was there at the family dinners, already an honorary member, elbows brushing against his own and purposefully tangling their feet under the table.

Zuko was there for him when he was at his weakest, and when he was giddy off the triumph of a successful invention. When he was angry, spitting words he didn’t mean, and when he was sleep happy and drunk on caffeine, his boyfriend tackling him into bed and forcing him to sleep.

When he came home from work having a breakdown after his third 12-turned-into-a-18 hour shift at his shit job, Zuko had been the one to hug him, hand heavy and comforting on his back. He’d also been the one to help Sokka find a better job the next morning, he’d been the one who offered silent emotional support, to attend up for him when Sokka was too tired to attend up for himself. And though Sokka hoped he’d been able to do the same, the fact remained that Zuko was an integral, and very large, part of his life. Had been for a long while, actually.

He had no clue what he would do without Zuko in his life.

“Promise me you’ll never leave me,” Sokka whispered into his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Zuko let out a watery laugh, one hand rubbing comforting circles on his back.

“I promise I’m going to love you until the day I die, Sokka.”

They stayed like that, curled into each other and revelling in each other’s presence. Sokka could feel his boyfriend’s breath against his neck as it evened out, felt his erratic heartbeat slow under his cheek. Zuko had fallen asleep, and Sokka was very close to joining him.

He shifted them slightly, letting his boyfriend sleepily shift into a more comfortable position, sliding himself into Zuko’s arms and enveloping them both in the blanket, letting his eyes drift shut. There was no better feeling than drifting to sleep in Zuko’s arms, safe and protected. Zuko would always be there for him, and he’d be there for Zuko.

**__ **

**_Author's note:_ ** **_If you want to walk away now with a happy fuzzy ending, now is the time. It gets bad from here, then worse. If you don't value your heartstrings and like angsty bits, you'll be happy with these next scenes. Proceed with caution._ **

  
  
  
  
  


**_Seriously, last chance right here._ **

  
  
  


He shifted them slightly, letting his boyfriend sleepily shift into a more comfortable position, sliding himself into Zuko’s arms and enveloping them both in the blanket, letting his eyes drift shut. There was no better feeling than drifting to sleep in Zuko’s arms, safe and protected. Zuko would always be there for him, and he’d be there for Zuko.

How very wrong he was.

Sokka awoke like he usually did, slowly and groggily. Unlike usual, something felt...wrong. It wasn’t uncommon for him to awake to Zuko’s arms draped across him, his chest under his cheek. It wasn’t unusual for him to be like this, cuddled against his boyfriend and savouring…his…warmth…

Zuko was cold.

Sokka shot up, very much awake. In all the years Sokka had known him, Zuko had never once been cold. He was Sokka’s personal human heater, reassuring warmth in a world that left Sokka cold. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, looking at his boyfriend’s face.

His breath froze, something in him froze, his brain just...stopped.

His hands reached out, trembling fingers gently closing his boyfriend’s unseeing, half-open eyes. He could feel something start to well up in him, a lump start to gather in his throat. He swallowed thickly, grabbing his phone off the coffee table.

“911 what is your emergency?”

Sokka let out a breath, and then took one in. Breath in. Breath out. In. Out.

“Hello, are you there?”

“I woke up and my boyfriend’s not breathing, I…I think he died in his sleep.”

Buzzing filled his head, the voice of the dispatcher faded into a blur of white noise. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind Zuko’s ear, hands resting on his cheek. He brushed his thumb over lips that were bluer than they should have been, framed by too-pale skin.

His vision grew blurry, and he couldn’t bring himself together enough to try and stop the incoming years. They fell silently, soaking into Zuko’s cotton shirt and leaving little splotches of darker colour. He closed his eyes, letting his head hang, hand dropping to rest on his boyfriend’s chest.

There was no heartbeat beneath his touch.

He didn't know how many more times he'd be able to see Zuko's face. The sharpness of his nose, the faintest dusting of freckles on pale skin. Long lashes that Sokka had watched flutter open in the pale light of dawn, thin lips that Sokka had once tasted, now tinged blue. Hair like the feathers of a raven, that Sokka had spent so many nights twisting into little braids. He let one trembling hand come to rest on Zuko's pale cheek, feeling a teardrop trace down his cheek, and closed his eyes tightly.

There was a knock at the door, and Sokka let in the two EMTs. Five minutes later and he was waiting for the medical examiner to come and authorize Zuko’s transfer to the funeral home. Everything was a blur of noise and colours, he felt nausea starting to creep up his chest, the sting of bile against the back of his throat. There was the quiet click of the door as the last EMT left, and Sokka finally allowed himself to break.

A scream tore itself from his throat. Raw, terrified, and primal. Desperate.

Zuko was dead.

It was Sokka's fault, they told him. The doctors hadn't said it in so many words, but Sokka knew. Zuko had an undetected heart condition from birth, and Sokka's near-death had caused his heart to fall into an arrhythmia that killed him within hours. Katara had told him there was nothing anyone could have done. Sokka knew better. He'd killed his own boyfriend. The best thing that had ever happened to him, gone because of him

Katara hadn’t let him go back to his and Zuko’s flat, and he was grateful for it. Even at her house, memories plagued him like incessant ghosts. A flash of amber in the mirror at the edge of his vision, a red sweatshirt. Everywhere he looked, there was Zuko, on the edge of his sight and just out of reach. He didn't think he would have been able to live alone in the house they'd shared.

The funeral was later that week, but Sokka couldn’t remember much of the time leading up to it. A foggy haze separated by moments of sharp, painful moments, like shards of glass hidden in cotton gauze. Katara tending to his head, shining her pen-light in his eyes. Iroh, reeling from the death of his second son, sweeping him into a hug that made it even harder to breathe. Toph, quiet and forlorn, and Aang, clinging to Katara like he was afraid he was going to lose her, like Sokka had lost Zuko.

He’d been asked to speak at the funeral, he couldn’t remember by who. Everything was confusing and moving too quickly. Voices came and went, saying things he couldn’t comprehend. One concerned face after another.

Katara nudged him gently, face lined with worry.

“It’s your turn to speak, Sokka. Are you sure you’re up for this?”

He nodded, stumbling to his feet. His vision tunneled and he felt a sudden wave of dizziness overtake him. Fingers white around the pew back, he closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath. It didn’t work, hadn’t since Zuko left. But now, it was time. The podium was in front of him, only a few metres away. He just had to get there. One step after another.

His chest tightened and his lungs stopped working. He felt sudden vertigo overtake him, and suddenly the world was tilting, he was tilting. The floor rushed up to meet him and the sight of approaching linoleum tiles was the last thing he remembered.

There was an incessant beeping in his ear, high-pitched and annoying.

“Zuko, get the phone,” he muttered, flopping his arm to wake his boyfriend up. There was a sudden burning pain in his arm, and he opened his eyes to see an IV torn halfway of his arm, a trickle of blood running across his skin.

Why was there an IV in his arm? Where was he, anyways? The last thing he remembered was Zuko's…funeral…

The door opened and Zuko bustled in, clothed in sky-blue scrubs with an easy smile on his lips. He blinked, and his boyfriend was gone, replaced by a nurse who had already starting a new IV. It wasn't Zuko. Zuko was dead.

"What happened?" he croaked out. "Where's Katara?"

"You've got a pretty bad infection," the nurse said. "We're doing all we can, but you're not out of the woods yet."

Sokka nodded, feeling his eyes grow heavy. He was so tired, tired of all of it. He just wanted his boyfriend to hold him and kiss his hair and tell him it would be alright. He just wanted Zuko to hold his hand as waves of dull pain crashed through his chest, as he drew one rattling breath after another.

He wanted Zuko.

Tears slipped through his closed eyes, and he could feel them running slowly down his face. Everything hurt, so fucking much. His head throbbed and his lungs were on fire, but none of it could hold a candle to the aching that he felt somewhere deep in his chest. Nothing could compare to the sharp pain that made it hard to breath, each time he closed his eyes and saw Zuko's too-pale face, eerily still.

Nothing could replace Zuko, and it was entirely his fault he was gone.

"Sokka."

He stirred, opening his eyes blearily. Everything felt foggy and ethereal.

"Sokka, wake up."

He was in the water again, Zuko was above him, dark hair a halo around his head. The pale sunlight flickered through the dark water. His chest was heavy with suffocating lake water, he was drowning all over again. A rattling cough wracked his body and the water was gone, replaced with the dim light of the hospital room and a constricting weight in his chest.

A figure was in the visitor's chair, sitting stiffly. Golden eyes opened suddenly, and the figure leaned forward, leaving the shadows to be cast into harsh relief. It was Zuko, but not his Zuko. This Zuko was wrong, twisted. Colder, and harsher. For the first time, Sokka saw Ozai in that face. That didn't stop Sokka from reaching out, desperate to touch his warm skin just one last time.

"Don't touch me."

Sokka let his arm fall, feeling something inside him crack.

"You were the one to kill me, Sokka. And now here you lay, dying too. At least I'm not the only one paying for your stupidity."

Sokka felt as though he'd been struck, a physical wound in the pit of his stomach. There was no emotion to Zuko's words, his voice cold and dead. Sokka would have preferred him to be angry.

He closed his eyes as the sting of bile rose in his throat, feeling something dark and painful well up in him. He opened his eyes again, and Zuko was gone. The chair was empty, no signs of the man he loved or his words that rang through Sokka's mind.

Sokka curled his knees up to his chest, burying his face in the starched fabric of the hospital sheets. Everything hurt so bad, he felt like he was drowning under it all. A vice was around his chest, squeezing and strangling until he wished it would just crush him.

He was dying, he knew he was. The way the nurses talked in hushed voices, the way Katara had taken to holding his hand and telling him stories of them as children. The way his father had come into the room and sat in that very chair, head buried in his hands and hiding silent tears.

He was dying and he honestly couldn't care. He was nothing without Zuko, had nothing left of his life that wasn't destroyed by his mistakes. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing would be the same. He was nothing without Zuko beside him.

He curled up a little tighter, shivering despite the blankets around him. He needed his boyfriend at his side, hand in hand.

He needed Zuko.

  
  


Days passed in hazy blurs now, the line between waking and dreaming so thin that he couldn't tell where the hallucinations ended and the nightmares began. Zuko visited him more and more frequently, sometimes cold and cruel, most often soft and sad.

He knew he was awake now. Something just felt so real this time. He felt more clear-headed, more calm. The pain had stopped, he felt…free.

"Hey."

That was Zuko again, leaning against the door. He was wearing one of Sokka's hockey sweaters, the warm fabric loose on his smaller shoulders.

"You ready?" he asked, a soft smile on his lips.

"For you?" Sokka felt his heart swell. "I'll always be ready."


End file.
